yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
