That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
