It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
