i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
