East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
