I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
A+ Viking dick
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize