Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
