Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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