Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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