This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
