i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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