U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He? As in you personified your dick?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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