There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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