I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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