I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
