ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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