put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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