maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
