I'll bet she douches with gravy.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
