"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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