I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
operation have a gay friend backfired
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
