Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
