what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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