Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.

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(251): View more from Alabama

So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

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(214): View more from Texas

It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again

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(205): View more from Alabama

She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese

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(425): View more from Washington

I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits

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(214): View more from Texas

His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people

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