i think i have two assholes
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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