Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do vagina's smell?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
