in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Still dying that you shit outside
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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