dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
