My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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