Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
