Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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