He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
