I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
