so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
