college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm at about main and main street
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
