i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize