You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
