don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
