what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize