From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
