Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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