Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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