im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
smell my finger.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
