It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
