Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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