on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
someone owes me an orgasm
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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