I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
