guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
