you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
