you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
