I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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