Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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