Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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