This girl is more easily done than said...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
