i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
