smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
