I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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