Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize