brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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