the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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