i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
