Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
