this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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