Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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